So it starts when I started reading a novel, one of the most insignificant pages to a reader, the preface and the acknowledgments and I almost always give them a read. Somehow I don't want to let any word or part be left unnoticed from me and want to cherish each and everything written on a book. You say it passion of a reader or FOMO- fear of missing out. But yes, I always do read it.
So as I was saying, as I read the acknowledgments section today, the author firstly thanked the person who gave him the idea which was basically the origin of the book and next was the turn of his family as you would obviously expect. It is about that acknowledgment only.
He said that he would like to thank his family for accepting his long hours of absence while he was working on that book. He thanked his wife for managing the house and the lives of his children so that he could work on the book undisturbed. He thanked them because they gave them that space and were content and acceptable while he was not able to live up to his family duties.
While it may seem something obvious to be written in a book and some other book would have something similar written in acknowledgments section, it striked something in me as it happens occasionally.
We often don't notice certain things and let them pass by us but there's so much to learn from absolutely everything that is happening around us.
So what I noticed is that women often carry guilt in them for not being able to fulfill some of their duties. They aspire to be perfect. They aspire to live a perfect life. The society expects them to be perfect where they should manage each and everything starting from their professional lives, their home life, their health, their partners, their children and that too perfectly. If they are unable to manage it all, they sometimes start carrying guilt. Maybe that's in our genes. That author, of whom I was talking that was male by the way.
So after all this rambling, the connect between the author and my women.
The connect is that the author could have also carried the guilt, instead he choose to be thankful and grateful to his family.
This is why I say change the narrative/perspective whatever you may say.
We manage everything very well, what we need is not be bogged down by an Evil called guilt and instead choose thankfulness.
There is need to create an integrated society where we could do our work and thankful to others for managing our work we couldn't because we were busy doing the work that was up on our priority list.
Next time don't think or say I feel guilty that I couldn't attend my son's PTM due to my work commitments instead say I am thankful to my husband for covering up for my absence. I think it sounds good and a much better approach to life. How a sudden shift of perspective and choice of words can turn the whole scenario from negative to positive is amazing.
We should start by saying, I am thankful to him or her for taking care of the things I couldn't. And that guilt, Oh Please!!, That better be thrown out of our dictionaries.